Help! From what You have shown me before, I know I can ask – Help me! You don’t need me to beg or do much – You are always helping me. Dear God, I need Your help right now.
You, God, without a miss – You act on my behalf. Always! I block Your offer. That’s on me. I’m sorry (again). And thank You (again) so much. God, you are present in my life or my mess or my joy, and my soulful sorrow. It’s such a hard time right now, God! This season feels like more than I can stand.
My thoughts are rich with bitterness and anger about so much that is happening in my community, my state, my nation, the world - my family needs Your help! When we talk or text about the news or who did what, we get ugly, real ugly with our words. I know that’s not what you want. Bitter, ruthless, boldly mean about people (Your kids/my sibs in Christ) who behave in ways we find offensive. Help my mind and my mouth. Help the dynamics within which I place myself, a willing participant, bystander. Ugh, I can be like a filthy rag (Isaiah 64:6).
I know You wait on me when I lather in the angst that my self-will creates for me and others. You’re so patient! God, I’m so embarrassed. I expect more from You, God – do more! I demand You do something! Current events burn and tangle, reveal evil and division. Then there’s me, right? I’m on one side of all that or the other, looking right in the mirror of (Your kids/my sibs in Christ) and You wait. Patient for when I’ll buck-up and humbly return to where You were waiting the whole time. It’s gross how far I will stray, then hustle back to You anticipating Your wide arms open, to hold me close – please, please, please keep me from me!
In Your hands, as You shape me, I hate it – it hurts sometimes! This spiritual development thing, Jesus - it feels like a throw on the wheel, a kneading of dry mud, a spinning like my mind does when I focus on who or what I cannot control. Put me in the fire already! I feel fed up so often with the process of being shaped by You. Oh well, right? You are what potters do - creating someone useful from a lump. God tell me how this works feeling grateful and fed-up simultaneously? Your divine paradox, right?
I love You, God. I pray by my end You can say – “Ah! Exactly what I imagined for You. Excellent!”
Director of Family Ministries